From Dating to Marriage:
Meanings, Expectations, Conflict and Love
Keywords:
Dating, Marriage, Marital meanings, Expectations, ConflictAbstract
The present, exploratory, study analyses i) the meanings of marriage and love, ii) the expectations for marriage,
for the partner and for oneself, and iii) the rising and resolution of conflict, in two stages: dating and marriage. Using a semistructured
interview, five heterosexual couples, married for at least two years, were interviewed (each member separately), and
dating was explored in retrospective. Content analysis was used as the data analysis strategy. It was concluded that couples,
while dating, do not explore the meanings and expectations for marriage intentionally; that marriage assumes different
meanings; that expectations are matched or surpassed; and that there are new sources of conflict in marriage as well as small
changes in coping strategies.
Downloads
Download data is not yet available.
References
Aboim, S. (2005). A Formação do Casal: Formas de Entrada e
Percursos Conjugais. In K, Wall. (Eds.), Famílias em Portugal -
Percursos, Interaçções, Relações Sociais (pp. 85-116). Lisboa:
Imprensa de Ciências Sociais.
Aboim, S. (2006). Conjugalidades em Mudança. Percursos e
Dinâmicas da Vida a Dois. Lisboa: Imprensa de Ciências
Sociais.
Acevedo, B. P., & Aron, A. (2009). Does a long-term relationship
kill romantic love? Review of General Psychology, 13(1), 59-
65. doi: 10.1037/a0014226
Amaro, F. (2004). A família portuguesa. Tendências actuais. Cidade
Solidária. Retrieved from http://ww3.scml.pt/media/revista/
rev_14/Familia_portug.pdf
Bardin, L. (2009). Análise de conteúdo. Lisboa: Edições 70.
Bhatti, R. S. (1993, Junho). Changes in the institution of marriage
and family structures: Problems and solutions. Paper presented
at the International Conference on Respect for Life: The
Priority of the Nineties. St. John’s Medical College and
Hospital, Bangalore, Karnataka.
Baucom, D. H., & Epstein, N. (1991). Will the real cognitivebehavioral
marital therapy please stand up? Journal of Family
Psychology, 4(4), 394-401.
Baucom, D. H., Epstein, N., Daiuto, A. D., Carels, R. A., Rankin,
L. A., & Burnett, C. K. (1996). Cognitions in marriage: The
relationship between standards and attributions. Journal of
Family Psychology, 10(2), 209-222.
Behrens, B. C., & Sanders, M. R. (1994) Prevention of marital
distress: Current issues in programming and research.
Behaviour Change, 11(2), 82-93.
Bonds-Raacke, J. M., Bearden, E. S., Carriere, N. J., Anderson,
E. M., & Nicks, S. D. (2001). Engaging distortions: Are we
idealizing marriage? The Journal of Psychology, 135(2),
179-184.
Carminatti, D. (2009). Casamento: A construção de uma nova
família. Retrieved from http://www.daniellecarminatti.psc.br/
Artigos/Casamento_Construcao_nova_fam%C3%ADlia.pdf
Costa, M. E. (2005). À procura da intimidade. Porto: Edições ASA.
Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions
and positive affect during marital conflict among newlywed
couples. Family Process, 43(3), 301-314.
Duarte, C. (2011). Conflito e violência nas relações conjugais: uma
perspectiva sistémica. In P.M. Matos, C. Duarte, & M. E. Costa,
(Eds.), Famílias: Questões de Desenvolvimento e Intervenção
(pp. 103-123). Porto: LivPsic.
Esere, M. O. (2003). Resolving conflicts in marriages: A counsellor’s
viewpoint. Journal of Education, 22(1), 26-41.
Faubert, K. M. (2008). “This isn’t a fairy taile”: An exploration
of marital expectations and coping among married women.
(Unpublished master’s thesis). Miami University.
Faulkner, R. A., Davey, M., & Davey, A. (2005). Gender-related
predictors of change in marital satisfaction and marital conflict.
The American Journal of Family Therapy, 33, 61-83. doi:
10.1080/01926180590889211
Fincham, F. D. (2003). Marital conflict: correlates, structure, and
context. Psychological Science, 12(1), 23-27.
Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R. H., & Davila, J. (2004). Forgiveness
and conflict resolution in marriage. Journal of Family
Psychology, 18(1), 72-81.
Fletcher, G. J. O., & Simpson, J. A. (2000). Ideal standards in close
relationships: Their structure and functions. Current Directions
in Psychological Science, 9(3), 102-105. doi: 10.1111/1467-
8721.00070
Fletcher, G. J. O. (2002). The new science of intimate relationships.
USA: Blackwell Publishers.
Flouri, E., & Buchanan, A. (2001). What predicts traditional
attitudes to marriage? Children & Society, 15, 263-271.
Gottman, J. M. (1991). Predicting the longitudinal course of
marriages. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 17(1), 3-7.
Gottman, J. M., & Notarius, C. I. (2002). Marital research in the
20th century and a research agenda for the 21th century. Family
Process, 41(2), 159-198.
Greeff, A. P., & Bruyne, T. (2000). Conflict management style and
marital satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 26,
321”“334. doi: 10.1080/009262300438724
Hall, S. S. (2006). Marital meaning: Exploring young adult’s belief
systems about marriage. Journal of Family Issues, 27(10),
1437-1458. doi: 10.1177/0192513X06290036
Holmes, B. M., & Johnson, K. R. (2009). Where fantasy meets
reality: Media exposure, relationships beliefs and standards,
and the moderating effect of a current relationship. In E.P.
Lamont (Ed.), Social psychology: New research (pp. 117-134)
Nova Iorque: Nova Science Publishers.
Instituto Nacional de Estatística (2010). Anuário Estatístico de
Portugal 2008 ”“ Edição 2009. Lisboa: Instituto Nacional de
Estatística.
Jares, X. R. (2002). Educação e conflito: Guia de educação para
a convivência. Porto: Edições ASA.
Juvva, S., & Bhatti, R. S. (2006). Epigenetic model of marital
expectations. Contemporary Family Therapy, 28(1), 61-72.
doi: 10.1007/s10591-006-9695-2
Kefalas, M., Furstenberg. F., & Napolitano, L. (2005). Marriage
is more than being together: The meaning of marriage among
young adults in the United States. The Network on Transitions
to Adulthood. Retrieved from http://www.transad.pop.upenn.
edu/downloads/kefalasmarriagenorms.pdf
Leite, S. (2003). A união de facto em Portugal. Revista de Estudos
Demográficos, 33, 97-140.
Lindahl, K. M., Malik, N. M., & Bradbury, T. N. (1997). The
developmental course of couples’ relationships. In W. K.
Halford, & H. J. Markman (Eds.), Clinical handbook of
marriage and couples intervention (pp. 203-223). Chichester:
John Wiley & Sons Ltd.
Markman, H. J., Floyd, F. J., Stanley, S., & Jamieson, K. (1984). A
cognitive/behavioral program for the prevention of marital and
family distress: Issues in program evaluation and delivery. In K.
Hahlweg & N. Jacobson (Eds.), Marital interaction: Analysis
and modification (pp. 396-428). New York: Guilford Press.
Markman, H. J., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Ragan, E. P., &
Whitton, S. W. (2010). The premarital communication roots of
marital distress and divorce: The first five years of marriage.
Journal of Family Psychology, 24(3), 289-298. doi: 10.1037/
a0019481
Martin, P. D., Specter, G., Martin, D., & Martin, M. (2003).
Expressed attitudes of adolescents toward marriage and family
life. Adolescence, 38(150), 359-367.
McNulty, J. K., & Karney, B. R. (2004). Positive expectations in the
early years of marriage: Should couples expect the best or brace
for the worst? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
86(5), 729-743. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.86.5.729
Morris, M. L., & Carter, S. A. (1999). Transition marriage: A
literature review. Journal of Family and Consumer Sciences
Education, 17(1), 1-24.
Myers, M. F. (1998). How’s your marriage? A book for men and
women. U.S.A.: American Psychiatric Press.
Narciso, I. (1994/95). Metamorfoses do amor e da satisfação
conjugal. Cadernos de Consulta Psicológica, 10/11, 129-139.
Oltramari, L. C. (2009). Amor e conjugalidade na contemporaneidade:
Uma revisão de literatura. Psicologia em Estudo, 14(4), 669-
677.
Ribeiro, T. (2002). Da diversidade do feminino e do masculino Ã
singularidade do casal. (Unpublished doctoral dissertation).
Universidade de Lisboa.
Risch, G. S., Riley, L. A., & Lawler, M. G. (2003). Problematic
issues in the early years of marriage: Content for premarital
education. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 31(3), 253-
269.
Rosa, C. P. (2009). A identidade dialógica de um prisma empírico:
Um estudo sobre a conjugalidade. (Unpublished doctoral
dissertation). Universidade do Minho, Braga.
Senécal, C., Vallerand, R. J., & Guay, F. (2001). Antecedents and
outcomes of work-family conflict: Toward a motivational
model. Society for Personality and Social Psychology, 27(2),
176-186.
Shulman, S., Rosenheim, E., & Knafo, D. (1999). The interface
of adolescent and parent marital expectations. The American
Journal of Family Therapy, 27, 213-222.
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological
Review, 93(2), 119-135.
Torppa, C. B. (2009). Preparing adolescents and young adults
for marriage: Developing realistic expectations for family
communication. Fact sheet. Family and Consumer Sciences.
Retrieved from http://ohioline.osu.edu/flm00/pdf/fs04.pdf
Verhofstadt, L. L., Buysse, A., Clercq, A., & Goodwin, R. (2005).
Emotional arousal and negative affect in marital conflict: The
influence of gender, conflict structure, and demand-withdrawal.
European Journal of Social Psychology, 35, 449-467. doi:
10.1002/ejsp.262
Wright, D. W., Simmons, L. A., & Campbell, K. (2007). Does a
marriage ideal exist? Using Q-sort methodology to compare
young adults and professional educators’ views on healthy
marriages. Contemporary Family Therapy, 29(4), 22.
Percursos Conjugais. In K, Wall. (Eds.), Famílias em Portugal -
Percursos, Interaçções, Relações Sociais (pp. 85-116). Lisboa:
Imprensa de Ciências Sociais.
Aboim, S. (2006). Conjugalidades em Mudança. Percursos e
Dinâmicas da Vida a Dois. Lisboa: Imprensa de Ciências
Sociais.
Acevedo, B. P., & Aron, A. (2009). Does a long-term relationship
kill romantic love? Review of General Psychology, 13(1), 59-
65. doi: 10.1037/a0014226
Amaro, F. (2004). A família portuguesa. Tendências actuais. Cidade
Solidária. Retrieved from http://ww3.scml.pt/media/revista/
rev_14/Familia_portug.pdf
Bardin, L. (2009). Análise de conteúdo. Lisboa: Edições 70.
Bhatti, R. S. (1993, Junho). Changes in the institution of marriage
and family structures: Problems and solutions. Paper presented
at the International Conference on Respect for Life: The
Priority of the Nineties. St. John’s Medical College and
Hospital, Bangalore, Karnataka.
Baucom, D. H., & Epstein, N. (1991). Will the real cognitivebehavioral
marital therapy please stand up? Journal of Family
Psychology, 4(4), 394-401.
Baucom, D. H., Epstein, N., Daiuto, A. D., Carels, R. A., Rankin,
L. A., & Burnett, C. K. (1996). Cognitions in marriage: The
relationship between standards and attributions. Journal of
Family Psychology, 10(2), 209-222.
Behrens, B. C., & Sanders, M. R. (1994) Prevention of marital
distress: Current issues in programming and research.
Behaviour Change, 11(2), 82-93.
Bonds-Raacke, J. M., Bearden, E. S., Carriere, N. J., Anderson,
E. M., & Nicks, S. D. (2001). Engaging distortions: Are we
idealizing marriage? The Journal of Psychology, 135(2),
179-184.
Carminatti, D. (2009). Casamento: A construção de uma nova
família. Retrieved from http://www.daniellecarminatti.psc.br/
Artigos/Casamento_Construcao_nova_fam%C3%ADlia.pdf
Costa, M. E. (2005). À procura da intimidade. Porto: Edições ASA.
Driver, J. L., & Gottman, J. M. (2004). Daily marital interactions
and positive affect during marital conflict among newlywed
couples. Family Process, 43(3), 301-314.
Duarte, C. (2011). Conflito e violência nas relações conjugais: uma
perspectiva sistémica. In P.M. Matos, C. Duarte, & M. E. Costa,
(Eds.), Famílias: Questões de Desenvolvimento e Intervenção
(pp. 103-123). Porto: LivPsic.
Esere, M. O. (2003). Resolving conflicts in marriages: A counsellor’s
viewpoint. Journal of Education, 22(1), 26-41.
Faubert, K. M. (2008). “This isn’t a fairy taile”: An exploration
of marital expectations and coping among married women.
(Unpublished master’s thesis). Miami University.
Faulkner, R. A., Davey, M., & Davey, A. (2005). Gender-related
predictors of change in marital satisfaction and marital conflict.
The American Journal of Family Therapy, 33, 61-83. doi:
10.1080/01926180590889211
Fincham, F. D. (2003). Marital conflict: correlates, structure, and
context. Psychological Science, 12(1), 23-27.
Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R. H., & Davila, J. (2004). Forgiveness
and conflict resolution in marriage. Journal of Family
Psychology, 18(1), 72-81.
Fletcher, G. J. O., & Simpson, J. A. (2000). Ideal standards in close
relationships: Their structure and functions. Current Directions
in Psychological Science, 9(3), 102-105. doi: 10.1111/1467-
8721.00070
Fletcher, G. J. O. (2002). The new science of intimate relationships.
USA: Blackwell Publishers.
Flouri, E., & Buchanan, A. (2001). What predicts traditional
attitudes to marriage? Children & Society, 15, 263-271.
Gottman, J. M. (1991). Predicting the longitudinal course of
marriages. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 17(1), 3-7.
Gottman, J. M., & Notarius, C. I. (2002). Marital research in the
20th century and a research agenda for the 21th century. Family
Process, 41(2), 159-198.
Greeff, A. P., & Bruyne, T. (2000). Conflict management style and
marital satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 26,
321”“334. doi: 10.1080/009262300438724
Hall, S. S. (2006). Marital meaning: Exploring young adult’s belief
systems about marriage. Journal of Family Issues, 27(10),
1437-1458. doi: 10.1177/0192513X06290036
Holmes, B. M., & Johnson, K. R. (2009). Where fantasy meets
reality: Media exposure, relationships beliefs and standards,
and the moderating effect of a current relationship. In E.P.
Lamont (Ed.), Social psychology: New research (pp. 117-134)
Nova Iorque: Nova Science Publishers.
Instituto Nacional de Estatística (2010). Anuário Estatístico de
Portugal 2008 ”“ Edição 2009. Lisboa: Instituto Nacional de
Estatística.
Jares, X. R. (2002). Educação e conflito: Guia de educação para
a convivência. Porto: Edições ASA.
Juvva, S., & Bhatti, R. S. (2006). Epigenetic model of marital
expectations. Contemporary Family Therapy, 28(1), 61-72.
doi: 10.1007/s10591-006-9695-2
Kefalas, M., Furstenberg. F., & Napolitano, L. (2005). Marriage
is more than being together: The meaning of marriage among
young adults in the United States. The Network on Transitions
to Adulthood. Retrieved from http://www.transad.pop.upenn.
edu/downloads/kefalasmarriagenorms.pdf
Leite, S. (2003). A união de facto em Portugal. Revista de Estudos
Demográficos, 33, 97-140.
Lindahl, K. M., Malik, N. M., & Bradbury, T. N. (1997). The
developmental course of couples’ relationships. In W. K.
Halford, & H. J. Markman (Eds.), Clinical handbook of
marriage and couples intervention (pp. 203-223). Chichester:
John Wiley & Sons Ltd.
Markman, H. J., Floyd, F. J., Stanley, S., & Jamieson, K. (1984). A
cognitive/behavioral program for the prevention of marital and
family distress: Issues in program evaluation and delivery. In K.
Hahlweg & N. Jacobson (Eds.), Marital interaction: Analysis
and modification (pp. 396-428). New York: Guilford Press.
Markman, H. J., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Ragan, E. P., &
Whitton, S. W. (2010). The premarital communication roots of
marital distress and divorce: The first five years of marriage.
Journal of Family Psychology, 24(3), 289-298. doi: 10.1037/
a0019481
Martin, P. D., Specter, G., Martin, D., & Martin, M. (2003).
Expressed attitudes of adolescents toward marriage and family
life. Adolescence, 38(150), 359-367.
McNulty, J. K., & Karney, B. R. (2004). Positive expectations in the
early years of marriage: Should couples expect the best or brace
for the worst? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
86(5), 729-743. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.86.5.729
Morris, M. L., & Carter, S. A. (1999). Transition marriage: A
literature review. Journal of Family and Consumer Sciences
Education, 17(1), 1-24.
Myers, M. F. (1998). How’s your marriage? A book for men and
women. U.S.A.: American Psychiatric Press.
Narciso, I. (1994/95). Metamorfoses do amor e da satisfação
conjugal. Cadernos de Consulta Psicológica, 10/11, 129-139.
Oltramari, L. C. (2009). Amor e conjugalidade na contemporaneidade:
Uma revisão de literatura. Psicologia em Estudo, 14(4), 669-
677.
Ribeiro, T. (2002). Da diversidade do feminino e do masculino Ã
singularidade do casal. (Unpublished doctoral dissertation).
Universidade de Lisboa.
Risch, G. S., Riley, L. A., & Lawler, M. G. (2003). Problematic
issues in the early years of marriage: Content for premarital
education. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 31(3), 253-
269.
Rosa, C. P. (2009). A identidade dialógica de um prisma empírico:
Um estudo sobre a conjugalidade. (Unpublished doctoral
dissertation). Universidade do Minho, Braga.
Senécal, C., Vallerand, R. J., & Guay, F. (2001). Antecedents and
outcomes of work-family conflict: Toward a motivational
model. Society for Personality and Social Psychology, 27(2),
176-186.
Shulman, S., Rosenheim, E., & Knafo, D. (1999). The interface
of adolescent and parent marital expectations. The American
Journal of Family Therapy, 27, 213-222.
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological
Review, 93(2), 119-135.
Torppa, C. B. (2009). Preparing adolescents and young adults
for marriage: Developing realistic expectations for family
communication. Fact sheet. Family and Consumer Sciences.
Retrieved from http://ohioline.osu.edu/flm00/pdf/fs04.pdf
Verhofstadt, L. L., Buysse, A., Clercq, A., & Goodwin, R. (2005).
Emotional arousal and negative affect in marital conflict: The
influence of gender, conflict structure, and demand-withdrawal.
European Journal of Social Psychology, 35, 449-467. doi:
10.1002/ejsp.262
Wright, D. W., Simmons, L. A., & Campbell, K. (2007). Does a
marriage ideal exist? Using Q-sort methodology to compare
young adults and professional educators’ views on healthy
marriages. Contemporary Family Therapy, 29(4), 22.
Downloads
Published
2014-07-21
How to Cite
Fonseca, S. A., & Neves Duarte, C. M. (2014). From Dating to Marriage:: Meanings, Expectations, Conflict and Love. Psicologia: Teoria E Pesquisa, 30(2), 135–143. Retrieved from https://periodicos.unb.br/index.php/revistaptp/article/view/17640
Issue
Section
Estudos Empíricos
